The sight of 22 highly paid footballers in Marseille last night attempting to play football has risen suspicions amongst the UEFA and an after-match investigation has proven, doping was involved.
In fact it's an authentic case because both teams were doped!
The suspicion started during the first half, players from both sides were caught yawning with glazed eyes, in fact Wayne Rooney was caught having forty-winks on camera, but luckily Sir Alex screamed in his left earhole and woke him up.
During half-time Sir Alex and his contra-hand, Deschamps, both gave their teams a right old-fashioned bollocking for their lethargic performance; Sir Alex even utilised his favourite trick, bombed a hair-dryer at substitute Obertan and called him a French tosser!
The teams both appeared slightly refereshed after the break, but both failed to have one single shot at goal during the second-half and UEFA officials really became suspicious?
It seems both teams were doped with over-doses of bromide by a Chinese betting syndicate betting on a 0-0 draw (not to difficult to predict actually).
It's a precedent case and now UEFA are contemplating re-organising the KO system of the Champions league by just having one tie on a neutral ground so Chinese betting syndicates cannot bet on first-leg boring 0-0 draw games.
As for the travelling Utd fans, many were too pissed to notice anything and the Marseille fans, well, they're used to boring French league 1 games so they kept on singing anyway.
TV footy fans mentioned it was the best sleeping tablet ever prescribed,ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!