Written by grimbo
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Thursday, 24 February 2011

image for No Liverpool Debut For Carroll

Record Liverpool signing Andy Carroll will not be considered for the upcoming fixture with West Ham on Saturday.

Interim manager Kenny Dalglish told the press that "although he's almost back to full training, Andy's not quite ready to make his debut yet for a number of reasons.

This is a big moment in a young man's career and he wants to make sure that he's fully fit, emotionally as well as physically.

Andy isn't 100$ convinced that he's quite got his hair right. He wants to be perfectly groomed when he steps out on the pitch for his Liverpool debut and he's going through the emotional wringer at the minute trying to get his look just so.

Not only that but he's been having to take a taxi to training every day because he hasn't decided on his new car. He feels that, because of the large amount of money that was paid for him (£35 million),the least he can do to repay the board's faith in him is to turn up at Anfield in a set of wheels that befits the club's record signing.

At present it looks like his preferred option is going to be a 12 twin turbo Maybach Landaulet. But that could well change.

He wants to make the right impression".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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