Rush "Darth Moronus" Limbaugh and Michelle "Pit Bull" Obama squared off in the octagon last night in a grudge match to end all grudge matches.
The war of the words started last week with this salvo from Rush, "What is it - no, I'm trying to say that our First Lady does not project the image of women that you might see on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue," to which Michelle retorted, "Big boy, I'm going to ground and pound you into tomorrow."
These two warriors met at the Build a Bear Center to a sold out crowd. Rush waltzed into the ring to the music of ABBA's Mama Mia, while Ms Obama walked in with to Link'n Park's Bleed it Out. Big John McCarthy was the referee.
Rush enacted his strategy of wearing Ms Obama down by allowing her to pummel/kick/knee him ceaselessly. Indeed, the second and third rounds demonstrated Rush's singular ability to cry like a baby. Even though the action was nonstop the giant video screens in the arena had to be shut down because no one wanted to see the jiggly waves of Rush's fat anymore. Thanks to the state of the art audio system the aforementioned cries could still be heard. In the final moments of the third round Rush tapped out from a rear naked choke.
After the fight Rush was heard to say, "She still isn't a swimsuit model."