Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 22 February 2011

image for Carlo Ancelotti Sacked After His Name Discovered To Be Strange Anagram
Chelsea captain Jet Horrny

Football has been shaken to its very roots this evening, after it was revealed that the Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti had been relieved of his duties when Stamford Bridge executives discovered that the letters of his name, carefully rearranged, were an anagram of the worrying alternative 'Cancell Traitor'.

Ancelotti, who has taken the Blues to the brink of Oblivion, has denied being a traitor, and says that he still believes his team can have its most successful season ever. Clearly, he is insane.

After his latest wild claims during a BBC interview, Chelsea boardroom staff started to look a little more closely into his background, and an eagle-eyed Russian billionaire noticed the strange conundrum with the Italian's name.

Said an unnamed member of the Board:

"We thought it odd that Carlo's name could be rearranged into Cancell Traitor. Any mention of the word 'traitor' is a bad thing. It was time for him to go."

It's not the first time that Chelsea have encountered anagrammatical problems. Back in the 1970s, striker Peter Osgood found to his cost that he could be rearranged into 'Deport Goose', Alan Hudson could become 'Uh! On sandal', and Ron Harris could morph into the insidious 'R Harrison'.

Others have included John Hollins (JH Hollinson), Micky Droy (Dicky Mroy) Pat Nevin (Vent Pain) and Gary Locke (Gay Locker). Eddie Niedzwiecki has been ignored in this exercise.

I hate Chelsea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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