Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 21 February 2011

image for Man United To Tell Bebe To Bog Off?
A Ten Million Pig In A Poke - Who Cares He's Catholic?

In the fallout from Crawley Town's heroic bid to 'stick it to the man' when they performed heroically against the mighty Manchester United, it was inevitable that there would be casualties.

Sergio Torres, of Crawley Town, wasn't one of them. Having blown a trial with Brighton, the young Argentinian showed great determination as he went on to stack shelves in a Basingstoke store, before eventually ending up at Crawley Town.

Contrast his progression with that of Tiago Manuel Dias Correia, aka Bebe - signed for an undisclosed fee from Portugal, rumoured to be the 'new' Ronaldo.

Torres is slightly built, but his performance for the Blue Square team put that of the 6'2" 'new Ronaldo' in perspective. Torres kept himself busy, grafting tirelessly and industriously against a prestigious United midfield, and causing many bitten fingernails among the Old Trafford faithful.

Bebe - to be frank, he just fannied about for a bit, tried the stepovers and fell over his own feet, fell over a great deal, and looked frustrated.

Against Crawley Town. Jamie Carragher would scare the crap out of him. And that won't do.

Maybe he just had an off day. Maybe this correspondent is an alien from another galaxy who came here to anally probe some sheep and Julia Somerville.

Expect to see him lining up for Stockport County next season. (Not the author, Bebe. Gosh!) Or Tranmere Rovers. An estimated ten million - ah well, easy come easy go.

"Congratulations to Crawley Town for a superb performance," said diehard red, Donald Skoob, a caretaker at Salford University.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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