Written by Monkey Woods
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Monday, 21 February 2011

image for Leyton Orient Could Beat Barcelona, Says Football 'Expert'
The special train at Brisbane Road: the Orient Express

A senior football expert has said that English League One side Leyton Orient would beat Spanish giants Barcelona if they ever came up against them, it has been reported.

The claim, from football expert Moys Kenwood, came after the Brisbane Road outfit had fought tooth-and-nail to draw 1-1 with Premier League Arsenal in their 5th Round FA Cup clash yesterday. Arsenal had previously beaten Barcelona 2-1 in the Champions League last week, and, by applying simple logic to the problem, Kenwood was able to establish that Orient, having matched the Gunners, would also be able to match their performance against the Spanish side, should they meet in the future.

A full-strength Arsenal team struggled against the grit and determination of the O's, and, cheered on by the crowd of 9,136 who had travelled to the game on the special train at Brisbane Road, Orient laid siege to the Gunners' goal, and could easily have won the tie.
Speaking inside my head last night, Kenwood said:

"Arsenal 2 Barcelona 1.
Leyton Orient 1 Arsenal 1.
Leyton Orient 2 Barcelona 1.
If only this were true."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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