Written by grimbo
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Thursday, 17 February 2011

image for Dundee United Boardoom Change Revealed

Troubled Dundee United, whose revenue flow has been hit hard after an inordinate number of home fixtures were cancelled due to a waterlogged pitch, have announced a major new change in the boardroom.

TV Presenter Lorraine Kelly has was been appointed to the Tannadice club's board as Executive Brand Consultant.

Kelly has already introduced some radical innovations.

The first team squad have been instructed to have all their tattoos removed and these are to be replaced by "nice wee butterflies" on their shoulder.

All velvet drapes in the boardroom and corporate facilities are to be binned in favour of "lovely orange cotswold chintz curtains" while hospitality meals will be completely revamped by the start of season 2011/12. Out go the 5 course meals, in comes buffet style fare with the star attractions "piggies in a blanket, brie and red currant parcels, lovely wee baby meringues and choccie nibbles".

More to follow......

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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