Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 15 February 2011

image for Spurs Do Italian Job - Gattuso Does Nut Job
The San Siro After The Rain And The Storm

Stormy night in la bella Italia with much for the afficionado to discuss. It rained incessantly in Milan, and indeed on Milan, especially in the 80th minute when Aaron Lennon picked the ball up in his own half, charged at the Milan defence, skipped a desperate attempt to bring him down and then squared the ball to his left to let Peter Crouch in to side foot home the decisive goal.

But the big talking points revolved around Flamini's horror tackle on Corluka, which despite seeing the Spurs man stretchered off with a suspected dislocated ankle, resulted in a mere yellow card.

Then there were the theatrics of Milan midfielder Gattuso to contend with.

He put himself about a bit. Probably because he bears a passing resemblance to boxer Roberto Duran. But a tad more aggressive.

Gattuso clashed with just about everybody on the pitch, most notably Peter Crouch - who clearly mouthed to the cameras that Gattuso is "mental."

Upon being booked, Gattuso rolled around on the deck, pounded the hallowed San Siro Turf with both fists and proceeded to snatch up grass, which he then started to furiously eat, like some kind of demented bovine.

Then Gattuso started on Joe Jordan - not recommended, even though the former Leeds and Manchester United tough guy is getting on these days - by pushing Jordan by the neck. Jordan did not seem best pleased.

Then at the full time whistle, Gattuso made a bee line for the Spurs coach and they went nose to nose. Jordan, a hard as nails Scotsman was having none of it, even when Gattuso headbutted him. A fracas ensued, but it was all basically handbags at dawn type stuff.

Sources say that Joe Jordan was furious and spent the rest of the night pounding the streets of Milan with the intention of giving the recalcitrant Gattuso "a fucking good talking to."

UEFA insiders insist that Michelle (sic) Platini (the girly boy) will probably take no action against Flamini, Gattuso, or Milan, due to the Berlusconi connection, and the fact that they're Italian and therefore naturally a touch temperamental.

In the meantime, the nation confirmed its unwavering support for Happy Harry's boys in their quest for European glory.

Like fuck.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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