Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 February 2011

image for Tiger Woods Fined For Spitting On Golf Green
The 12th green at the Dubai Desert Golf Course where Tiger Woods spat.

DUBAI - It appears that Tiger Woods has once again had a lapse in judgement. The golf legend was on the 12th green participating in the Omega Dubai Desert Golf Classic when he must have forgotten where he was.

As he lined up his shot, he suddenly turned to the side and spat on the green. The gallery let out a collective oooohhhh.

Tiger Woods was overheard whispering "Hey people get over it, it's just spit, its not like I peed on the damn green or even worse did the digestive system function that 87-year-old Ennio Uptonbrook, III, did last year at Peeble Beach."

The television announcer Ewen Murray remarked that in his entire career of announcing golf he had never seen such a disgusting breach of golf etiquette as he had just witnessed from Mr. Eldrick Tont Woods.

He went on to say that he would personally be filing a letter of complaint with the tournament director Mike "Golf Club" Stewart and asking that Woods be disqualified, fined, and even arrested for his blatant insult to the entire golf world.

Murray remarked to a reporter for Sports Territory Magazine that the Rules and Regulations of The Tour Code of Conduct expressly prohibit such a wanton display of barbarism as has been displayed by Mr. Woods.

After he had finished his round of golf, Woods was asked to meet with the tournament director. Woods was informed that after the tournament he would be banned from ever again playing at the beautiful Dubai Desert Golf Course and that if he so much as got within 100 yards of the property he would be arrested.

Woods apologized to Mr. Murray and the entire Omega Dubai Desert Golf Classic organization, as well as to the countless fans, the sponsors, the members of The Tiger Woods Fan Club, his best friend Kobe Bryant, and the greenskeeper Hashid Vanpaleet, 47.

Tiger pointed out that lately he has been thinking a lot about his divorce and that it may have had something to do with his lapse in judgement.

He said that he was probably thinking about his ex wife, the extremely rich bitch Elin Nordegren and in his moment of anger he spit, as if spitting at her in a symbolic way.

Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that Eldrick Tont Woods will definitely be charged with Flagrante Delicto Habeas Golfus Quasi Vini Vidi Vici Vice Versa which basically means defiling and disrespecting golf course property.

STM went on to say that the charge will carry a fine of $400,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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