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Wednesday, 9 February 2011

image for Erin Andrews/Martin Shuttlecock Ink New Footie Contract With Sky Sports!
Sky Says Erin Will Go Anywhere to Get the Inside Story & The Naked Truth!

To counteract the recent signing by rival talkSport of 'Randy Andy" Gray and Dick Noo-keys, Sky Sports wasted no time in replacing the sexually incorrect pair with Soccer's hottest on air couple Shuttlecock & Andrews!

The couple will be reprising their successful stint last year where they hosted "Very, Very Late Night Soccer" in the US said to be responsible for renewing interest in professional bowling which had been suffering in the colonies.

Whilst Gray and Noo-keys have reportedly taken a huge cut in salary at talkSport after a previously reported spoof that the pair where headed for al-Jazeera that was picked up by several UK tabloids and was laughingly unfounded, contract details on the mixed sex pair was not disclosed by a Sky spokesman who said, "we never talk about obscene details like money here!"

Martin and Erin will be going 'head to head' with Randy & Richard, (call me Dick for short) 5 days a week in the 10 am to 1pm time slot.

Expectations are high for the new Sky show after several nude bathroom Utube clips of Erin were aired as part of the promo.

Sky Sports says they are not responsible for the provocative clips, and point their fingers collectively at Andy & Dick saying, "this is the type of activity that got them fired here... we could have gotten them on some clips where they were taped in the shower together taking turns dropping the soap, but we here at Sky are above all that Private School Butt Slapping ignorant behaviour."

Martin and Erin were recently approached during their preliminary walk through of their first show and this reporter was privy to some pithy exchanges between the two, who obviously share a close personal as well as working relation ship.

As TV crews worked on adjusting cameral angles, makeup women were dusting up Martin, a frustrated Erin was heard to say, "Hey, Marty......give me a hand would you.....adjust this fanny cam for me ....!"

Rehearsing play by play off some recorded game clips involving Man U and Liverpool, Erin Exclaimed, " Check the package on that big boy....he'd better wear some longer shorts or strap that trouser worm down to his leg before he hurts that female linesman!"

"I think he's slightly out of pocket, " Shuttlecock deadpanned as Erin broke up on camera.

Shuttlecock is expected to bring his off center perspective to play by play commentary, and is known for getting to the bottom of many of the off field shagging incidences prevalent in the WAG community.

Andrews is known for catching players off guard during shower room interviews, now made famous when she forgot to turn off her helmet cam at the world cup.

Sky Sports says Erin will rekindle interest in the flagging sport amongst female viewers who will be fascinated as she gets down and dirty with the players in the locker room and promise "they'll be more than one star who'll be showing his bare arse to fans on TV thanks to Erin....she's got a way about her, and they've all got big egos...stand by, there'll be more as she gets it!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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