Written by grimbo
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Topics: Tiger Woods, Golf

Monday, 7 February 2011

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In the wake of the disastrous last few months characterised by revelations regarding his private life and his so far unsuccessful attempts to ingratiate himself with sponsors and fans, Tiger Woods has hit on a novel way to ratchet up his charm offensive.

Fresh from giving autographed gloves to 2 unfortunate fans who were hit by wayward drives in the Memorial at Dublin, Ohio, unnamed sources have revealed that the former World Number One is to employ two caddies in all future tournaments.

One will undertake the normal caddy duties of carrying the clubs , pin duty and advising on club selection, while the other is to carry around a selection of "Woodies". These are gifts personally endorsed by the Great Man and will be handed out not only to any fan who gets hit by any other misdirected drives, but also to anyone who Tiger grimaces at , fails to acknowledge with a nod or a wink or is otherwise deemed to be even the slightest bit grumpy with.

Its understood that the gifts on offer will range from "10 Steps to Forgiveness" (a self improvement leaflet created by TW himself) to more traditional golfing accessories such as ball markers (no pun intended) and ball retrievers (ditto).

Given the large number of people who are likely to fall into this category, Caddie Number 2 will be hauling around a super duper sized caddie cart or "Woodmaster Supreme" patented by Tiger himself. It will be available on the open market by the start of the 2011 U.S. Open.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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