As if losing his third Grand Slam Final without picking up a set wasn't enough, tennis live wire Andy Murray was today double faulted with the horrific news that X-Factor favourite and all round voice of the people Susan Boyle is his biological mother.
Su-Bo, who has earned Simon Cowell millions, was unavailable for comment because she lives in a cave in the Highlands with no electricity, but a spokesman issued the following statement to the gathered press,
'Obviously Andy will be devastated. Not only has he lost another Major Tennis Final, but to discover this news on the same day is hard to bear. Hopefully in the passing of time he will understand, and realise the signs were always there. They are Scottish obviously, the bristle-like wire hair, and the sideburns are all tell tale signs. The one positive in all this though is that she is quite a decent tennis player. '