Written by Reddon
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Saturday, 29 January 2011

image for Torres - Please release me
Not the kop any more.

Liverpool striker Fernando Torres, seemingly wants to be looking at the exit door at Anfield. To go to Chelsea.

Seems it's a question of personal choice, and not, as has been suggested in some quarters, a case of 'tapping up' a contractually obligated professional sportsman, exactly as did not happen when Chelsea signed Ashley Cole from Arsenal.

Insiders insist that there is no possibility of any form of malpractice, and independent observers tend to agree that there is no possibility, not even remotely, of any skullduggery.

The under achieving Spaniard just wants to move on in order to further his career prospects.

At Chelsea.

Sources suggest that the proposed transfer is purely a personal matter, and nothing whatsoever to do with financial considerations or inducements. It's simply a case of an exemplary professional milking the sacred cow for all it's worth. According to insiders.

Industry analysts are convinced that the deal will go through, but they poured cold water on the suggestion that Richard Keys and Andy Gray would in any way be involved in any deal.

Employing abused match official Sian Massey as a match day hostess at The Bridge has not been ruled out, but seems doubtful.

According to more sources.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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