In transfer news Chelsea have rocked the football world and signed Alexander Meerkat for an undisclosed fee. Alexander, 4, from somewhere quite cold, is probably best known for the hilarious adverts where loads of his friends appear and make funny noises at the end. They are always comparing markets.
Chief Sports Writer for the Guardian, Henry Summer, said of the deal,
'Cynics will just say that Chelsea have signed a meerkat because of the Russian connection, and it's true, he did go to school with Roman Abramovich, but the lad is a very talented footballer.'
The Barclays Premier League is already overloaded with poncy foreigners and it's quite refreshing that clubs are starting to look elsewhere for their footballing talent.
Club spokesman Roy Wilkins added 'I can see more and more clubs signing talented animals. They're a damn sight cheaper and they don't drink so you won't get any front page headlines.'