Written by Ellis Ian Fields
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 24 January 2011

image for Andy Gray's "Balls On A Platter" Please Says Female Colleague In Sky Row
Will it ultimately be red for Keys and Gray?

Sky Sports football presenters Andy Gray and Richard Keys are likely to feel the wrath of their female colleagues when they return to work today.

In recordings leaked to the media, they can be heard whining about the appointment of a female referee's assistant for Saturday's Premier League game between Wolves and Liverpool and making generally disparaging comments about women in football.

A spokesman for Sky said: "The comments are not acceptable. They were not aired but we have spoken to Richard and Andy and they have apologised."

And according a source inside Sky: "They have been very naughty boys and ought to be more careful what they say. I'm sure they have been given a lot to think about."

But women in the organisation are reported to be dissatisfied with this slap on the wrist and to be very "pissed off" at the two "dinosaurs."

Said another insider: "I know for a fact that Georgie Thompson has announced that she will give £500 to anyone who presents Gray's and Keys's balls to her on a platter. She and Charlotte Jackson are said to be completely' pissed off at this pair of footballing dinosaurs.'"

And the two miscreants can expect little support from their male colleagues. Jeff Stelling, who presents Gillette Soccer Saturday with a panel of ex-pro's, is reported to being "keeping his head down."

Said a source: "Jeff has a happy home life and knows which side his bread is buttered with his missus, so he's keeping his head down.

"Yup, Andy and Dick are on their own with this one. Stupid buggers."

Sky Sports have been ruthless in the past when an employee steps out of line. Rodney Marsh was kicked of Soccer Saturday after inappropriate comments concerning the Asian tsunami in 2005.

It remains to be seen whether the media will chase the two men out of their jobs.

Make Ellis Ian Fields's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

8 14 13 25

Go to top