Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Golf

Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Padraig Harrington Is A Bloody Cheat!
Every dimple counts!

Unsportsmanlike behaviour of any kind is unpalatable and against the spirit of sport itself, but this is particularly so when it is carried out by a professional sportsman, as it was yesterday by world number 26-ranked golfer, Ireland's Padraig Harrington.

Mr Harrington, without a major tournament win since 2008, was unceremoniously disqualified from the Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship after moving his ball with his fingers.

His golf ball, that is.

The Irishman was caught by TV cameras, however, and reported to the correct authorities, who quickly threw him out of the prestigious competition on his Irish tatie-filled ear.

Harrington's hand brushed the back of his ball on hole seven as he replaced it in front of his marker. The ball rocked forward and television slow-motion replays showed that it did not return to its original position. Harrington said:

"I looked down and was pretty sure it had just oscillated and had not moved, so I continued on," said Harrington.

"In slow motion, it's pretty clear the ball has moved three dimples forward and it's come back maybe a dimple and a half. I accept that that's good enough, but I wouldn't have done anything differently - there was nothing I could do about it at that moment in time."

"If I'd called a referee over it would have been pointless because if he'd asked me where my ball was I'd have said it was there. As far as I was concerned it didn't move."

It's the second time Harrington has suffered disqualification in his career - at the Belfry in 2000 he was leading going into the final round before officials noticed he had not signed his first-day scorecard.

Tour senior referee Andy McFee, who also disqualified Harrington first time around, said:

"I got an email from the Tour feedback site just before six o'clock on Thursday, and, to tell you the truth, I'm getting a bit fed up of Padraig's cheating. There's just no need for it. He's a great golfer, and doesn't need to cheat. It's sad really. Maybe he needs to go to a clinic or something to straighten himself out. What a waste of a great talent."

Sports enthusiast Moys Kenwood was non-plussed over the incident, however. He told us:

"That's bollox. How on Eartn can that be described as cheating?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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