Written by Bureau
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Thursday, 20 January 2011

image for Dallas Cowboys Before They Had Cheerleaders

Early days for the Dallas Cowboys were similar in won-loss records much like this years. In other words, it took awhile for Tom Landry to build the team and in those early days, there were no Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders that have since help make the team world famous.

Back in the very early 1970's, the fans were treated to a Wild West Rodeo on the sidelines. So you did get your money's worth even when the Cowboys were behind, 53-7.

"I remember those days", one old-timer told us. "Back then, one of our boys would be headed for a touchdown for sure and some idiot bull would run him down after getting excited by a ref's red flag throw. Yessirree, we was penalized a lot back in those early days."

"The wife and me always tried to support the team", stated an older couple. "After all, this was Dallas, The Big "D" and I thought we first came up with a great defense and then a great offense and finally, some near-naked women twisting their....(At this point the little wife had reached down into our old guy's pants and led him away).

Other things that were used to draw crowds were the players coming onto the field on horseback while jumping through hoops and great-smelling barbecued ribs being roasted behind the Cowboy bench.

"We won some early games by making the other team so hungry they'd fumble the ball and head for the sidelines for goodies", stated another longtime fan. "Then they couldn't run worth sh*t the second half of the game as they were too full. We had to quit that when they started showing the Cowboy games on TV."

"Cheerleaders? Why no! They would have slid down in the horse hockey & bullshit....come to think of it, we still have the bullshit, but it's up in the owner's box."

Most say they love all those winning teams and the famous Cowboy cheerleaders but there just isn't enough suspense now as there was back in the golden era.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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