Venus Williams was bending over waiting to receive a serve at the Australian Open today, when suddenly a kangaroo with a whopping erection jumped onto the court and headed straight for Venus' butt. It looked like Venus was heading for an ace and maybe a grand slam, but she managed to scamper into the enclosure just in time to avoid an embarrassing incident.
A zoologist confirmed that randy kangaroos often chase human females and are very fast. He said that not many people know but they are equipped with very special genitalia. "The male kangaroo probably picked on Venus because the female kangaroo has two vaginas and Venus' hole could have well looked about the right size." "The male kangaroo's penis is structured for double penetration." "It must have been a terrifying experience," he continued, "Just imagine a two foot, double-headed dick coming at you at 40 miles per hour!" Venus herself said that she bore no bad feelings and added that she had quite a soft spot for kangaroos.
Later that evening a disturbance was reported at Venus' hotel, when guests complained that they heard loud pounding noises on the floor above them accompanied by wild whoops of delight from a female voice.