Written by SpoofyDoofy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 13 January 2011

image for The Messiah, King Kenny relieves the command of 'Anfieldgrad' siege, from Von Hodgson!
It is thought that Von Hodgson was using the tactics employed by American 'Grid Iron' Football teams!

This was 'Anfieldgrad', Liverpool: On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffering the fiercest cold Winter and were beleagured. The siege of 'Anfieldgrad' had been 'simmering' for six long months, with Von Hodgson's forces besieged on the banks of the Mersey, by the Red Army of the Kop.

During the prolonged 'siege', the Red Army of the Kop have been chanting the name of "Kenny Dalglish", "Kenny Dalglish", "Kenny Dalglish".

Finally the Americans, who as usual always seem to arrive late at big matches, decided to relieve the siege of 'Anfieldgrad' from the command of Von Hodgson! It is believed Von Hodgson 'WALKED ALONE' down the M62 with a reputed few £Million pay off!


The disaster of Von Hodgson's command at 'Anfieldgrad' is 'harrowing' reading!!

On the 22nd September 2010 from the South came the forces of Northampton Town a League Two opponent, so Von Hodgson fielded his second-string Divisions to repel them in the Carling Cup which should still have been enough to dispatch them. An early successful assault on goal by Northampton Town, Von Hodgsons forces needed a goal four minutes from the end of extra-time to take it to spot-kicks - but still lost. Liverpool 2 Northampton Town 2 (Northampton win 4-2 on penalties),

On 3rd October 2010 from the North came the forces of Blackpool, Premier League newcomers who outplayed their hosts, such the first chants of "Dalglish" on the Kop were heard as Liverpool succumbed to a 1-2 defeat.

On the 17th October 2010, Von Hodgson described a 2-0 defeat to Everton as their best performance of the season and alienated the fans as Liverpool slumped to 19th in the table.

When Von Hodgson took a raiding party south to Stoke on the 13th November 2010, they arrived at the Britannia Stadium on the back of a six-match unbeaten run following the Merseyside derby defeat, but shot themselves in the foot with a performance lacking in desire and quality to lose 2-0.

Von Hodgson's forces appeared to be on an upward curve again with improved performances in home victories over West Ham and Aston Villa and the away defeat to Tottenham but when Von Hodgson took a raiding party on the 11th December 2010 to Newcastle, they were beaten 3-1.

On the 29th December 2010, in a display so bereft of energy and quality that probably sealed Von Hodgson's fate, the Kop sarcastically sang "Hodgson for England", when Liverpool 0 Wolves 1, became the final score line.

Finally the Americans, who as usual always seem to arrive late at big matches, began to explore their options in regards to Von Hodgson's position.

The final nail in the coffin came on the 6th January 2011, when Von Hodgson's former command the Lancashire Regiment of Blackburn Rovers, where he was also 'relieved', assaulted Anfield with a pillage of all three points in a 3-1 thrashing of the Reds. The Kop of Liverpool found themselves losing to a side who had eight first-team players missing!


ONE Koppite has written the following epitaph;

    "I personally think the main Liverpool players wanted Von Hodgson out. It was apparent against lower teams that the players had no interest. It was also clear to see that aganist the better clubs the players showed an element of guts determination and pride. But they where not playing for Von Hodgson just for themselves. I believe that due to Kennys reputation and the respect that he commands our beloved Reds will begin to understand that playing for Liverpool is a privelidge and not an easy ride. I just hope that the players stand up and be counted because if they dont, I'm sure they will be out of the door faster than a Torres sprint."

So far the Messiah, King Kenny is keeping up the good fight at 'Anfieldgrad';

First match away, LOST 1-0 to the opposing riffraff of Manchester United.
Second match, although a promising start, LOST to the forces of Blackpool 2-1.

Make SpoofyDoofy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 4?

9 8 2 11
124 readers are online right now!

Go to top