Written by Nae mair crap
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Saturday, 8 January 2011

image for Welcome back, King Kenny, but speak slowly please
time to let the ball talk, Liverpool

Liverpool FC is in turmoil yet again. The greatest club in the world, bar none, has said ta ra to another manager. Inevitable, I suppose, when no one except Shankly will satisfy the Kop.

Not Shankly, but as Scottish as Shankly, King Kenny Dalglish returns to steady the sinking ship, albeit on a temporary bais.

Fernando Torres and Pepe Reina, the Spanish stars of Liverpool, are in despair, not at the lack of success but at the thought of that accent! It is reported that they are pleased to have mastered the Scouse accent but now face the ultimate test: the Dalglish dialect!

CD's of Billy Connolly, Susan Boyle and the Proclaimers have been rushed to the guys. Still, they are confused, it seems.

"What the fook does "haver" mean?" Torres is reported to have asked Kenny.

"Yer bletherin' a lot of shite, Fernando," replied Kenny, "That's what it means!"

Steven Gerrard is phoning Sir Alex Ferguson for help with translation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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