Her Majesty, Elizabeth, The Queen has delivered her annual Christmas message. In it she placed considerable emphasis on the role sport plays in our national psyche.
She noted that when Man U play Manchester City rival fans get together to abuse and insult one another and even resort to physical violence, resulting in bloodshed. This was a good thing, she said.
Much like Liverpool fans bashing up Real Madrid followers at UEFA ties. "Keep it up, boys" she encouraged.
As for cricket, she said that England should not shy away from sticking it right up those miscreant Australians and "whipping their backsides ruefully". "After all, they're just a bunch of convicts" she added.
Her Majesty went on to state that losing is NOT an option for us proud poms and we should do everything possible to achieve victory in our favourite sports, well beyond civilised behaviour. "If you must lose" she said, "lose extremely badly".