Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 26 December 2010

image for It Certainly Appears That New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan Has Really Focused On The "Foot" Part Of The Word Football
This is the most recent foot photo of Michelle Ryan. (Photo courtesy of Coach Rex Ryan).

MANHATTAN - Rex Ryan the head football coach of the NFL New York Jets was spotted in Macy's Department Store. He was asked by a reporter for The Right Coast Illustrated Revue, Gingerbread Matchaletti why he was in the store.

The Jets coach replied that it was no one's effen business. After he left the store Matchaletti went up to the sales clerk whom she had seen Coach Ryan talking to.

She asked the sales clerk, whose name tag read Permella, what Coach Ryan was doing. Permella said that the Jets coach had returned three pairs of women's open toed pumps that he said did not quite fit his wife's gorgeously attractive feet.

"Really?" Matchaletti asked.

"Oh yes." The sales clerk replied. She then went on to say that she was really surprised at how extremely complimentary Ryan was as he talked to her about his wife's feet.

She said that Ryan had commented that Michelle (his wife) had the softest, smoothest, sexiest, most kissable feet that he had ever seen and he stated that he figured that he had probably seen close to 18,000 womens feet since his high school days.

The sales clerk said that she began to feel uncomfortable when she noticed that Ryan was looking down and sneaking a peek at her feet.

She said that as he was gazing at her feet he asked her if she was a size 6½. She stated she was.

He then asked her if she was wearing Diet Strawberry Red Nail Polish. She told him that he was right and she quickly asked him if there was something else that she could help him with.

She said that he asked her if he could possibly take a cell phone photo of her feet. She told him that she wanted him to leave immediately because she was getting ready to call security.

The coach turned and left so fast that he looked like Rosie O'Donnell chasing after a windblown bagel.

In other news. The rumor that Whoopi Goldberg had suggested to Gayle King that she would like to have a menage-a-trois with her and Oprah have been vehemently denied by Oprah's girlfriend.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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