Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 23 December 2010

image for New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan Denies That He Has A Foot Fetish - But Adds That He Does Have A Collection of Over 700 Bras
Five of the bras in Coach Ryan's collection of over 700 bras. (Photo courtesy of Ines Sainz).

MANHATTAN - New York Jets football coach Rex Ryan was shopping in Macy's Department Store when he was asked by a reporter for The RumorMonger Revue Tabloid about his newly revealed foot fetish.

Ryan turned three shades of shocking pink. He giggled and replied that he has no foot fetish and that those are just false rumors that were started by a disgruntled linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Jets coach did confess that he does have a collection of over 700 womens bras. He elaborated by saying that he first began collecting them back when he was in the second grade.

Ryan said that his very first bra was one that belonged to his second grade teacher Mrs. Lilac Curlychek. When asked how in the world he managed to get his teacher's bra he smiled and said that he just opened up her desk drawer where she kept an extra bra next to her magic markers and took it, stuffing it in his underwear.

He said that by the time he had graduated from college he had collected close to 400 bras. He pointed out that for the past three years most of his bras have been secretly given to him by New York Jets cheerleaders in exchange for him giving them the personal cell phone numbers of some of the unmarried players.

In other news. Kenya has just informed the United Nations that they plan to invade India just as soon as they can lease a submarine from Guatemala.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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