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Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for James and the Cavaliers Being Sued
Rosin Dust Cloud in the Cleveland Arena

The Third District Appellate Court of Lake County, in Cleveland, Ohio, today acknowledged receipt of a lawsuit naming the Cleveland Cavaliers, a professional basketball team with corporate offices in Cleveland, Ohio, and naming Labron James as co-defendant. The action was brought forth on behalf of James Dawson, Clancy Darrington, Ben Africa, Harley James and Charles Cullison.

Named in the lawsuit were the National Basketball Association, the Cleveland Cavalier ownership, Cleveland Heating and Cooling (company who installed the air purification system in the Arena), Masonavitch Rosin Company (refiners who refined and packaged the rosin product used by the Cavaliers), and Lebron James.

The five men who instigated the lawsuit were all long time season ticket holders, regularly attended games, and all five had first row seats directly behind the scorers table. All five men had recently been diagnosed with an upper respiratory problem, and after further testing, it was determined that it was due to the inhalation of raw rosin. They further stated in the suit, that a game starting ritual of James was to throw a handful of rosin in the air, recklessly endangering, and with no regard to fans that might inhale the potentially deadly airborne powder.

James was contacted in his Florida home, and when questioned about the ritual and its health potential, commented, "Ah, hell man, I always done that, they loves it when I throw that stuff in the air, ah, what did you say them guys got, an you say they got it how, from what, ah, hey man, scuse me for a little while, I think I'm gonna call my Doc up and go see him, I ain't been feeling to good today. Later man."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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