Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 6 December 2010

image for Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Says One More Prima Donna-Diva Sideline Outburst From Jon Kitna And He'll Find Himself Picking Effen Bananas In Costa Rica
The logo on the football helmets of the Costa Rican Banana Pickers. (Photo courtesy of Ines Sainz).

INDIANAPOLIS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was one extremely happy man after watching his Dallas Cowboys win their third game under new head coach Jason "Smiley" Garrett.

Jones' team defeated the Indianapolis Colts 38 to 35 on an overtime field goal by David Buehler. The whole Cowboys team erupted in excitement as the 23-year-old kicked the game winning field goal giving the Cowboys a 4-8 record.

But during the second quarter of the game. Buehler missed a 48 yard field goal and as the camera panned to the Cowboys sideline it caught quarterback Jon Kitna having what can best be described as a valley girl hissy fit.

Jon "Fat Boy" Kitna was hollering, yelling, screaming, and cussing at his field goal kickers miss. And he looked absolutely ridiculous. He looked extremely unprofessional. In fact not even Cowboys coach Jason Garrett made such a big deal about the missed field goal and neither did any of the other players or coaches.

Jerry Jones who was watching the game up in one of the luxury boxes immediately called down to his coach and told him to put Kitna on the line.

Kitna put the earphones on and he proceeded to hear Jones call him every name in the book. Jones basically told him that he (Kitna) isn't as good as he thinks he is and that the one and only reason that he is playing is because Tony Romo is hurt.

Jones then told him that not even him, and he stressed that he (Jones) is the Cowboy King carries on like Kitna did.

The Dallas owner made it abundantly clear and in no uncertain terms to Jon "The Hissy Fitter" Kitna that if he ever acts like that again he will trade his 38-year-old fat ass to the Costa Rican Banana Pickers of the Central American Football League, where Kitna's contract will call for him to pick friggin bananas during the off season.

SIDENOTE: Kitna reportedly apologized to Mr. Jones and told him that next time he will just keep his dumb ass feelings, remarks, and words to his stupid dumb ass self.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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