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Monday, 6 December 2010

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Say it Ain't So

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, the $2.9 million dollar league leader who actually makes more like $9.76 million in overall compensation, and TV bonuses, hinted that there could be some "rehearsing" of football games so that television cameras are aware, beforehand, of critical plays.

"The networks like close games, and even pay the league bonus money for overtime games and quietly pay under the table money for "after touchdown dances" and antics. They actually hired Herminoe English, noted dancer, to choreograph some of the post touchdown entertainment, and she makes the rounds of as many teams as she can each week," the commissioner went on to comment.

It is not common knowledge, but each team is assigned a "director" who attends all practices and suggests plays, some that work and some that don't, and some that can have an ultimate roll in the outcome of the game.

Many think that plays being sent in are done so by the coaches in the upper boxes, when in fact, all of the various coaches sitting in the boxes are hooked in to a local "musak" system and have no communications with the field. All plays are sent in from the "director" who determines the outcome of the game.

"We try to make it look as legitimate as possible, but all the games are orchestrated to satisfy the TV audience. That is why New Orleans won the Super Bowl last year. The city needed a boost after all the devastation, so TV gave it to them. Hey, they need viewers and they know how to get them. They even planned that whole mine disaster, highest ratings ever, are they good, or what?" Roger commented.

So, when you see a pass dropped, or an untimely fumble, or a dropped fly ball, or a puck that goes astray, or an errant soccer ball, or a player who is injured long enough to "get a commercial in," don't blame the players, they are just doing as directed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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