Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 2 December 2010

image for Wikileaks: Wee Willy Windsor 'is dead meat' if England 2018 bid fails
Kate's strippergram vid failed to excite

Zurich - (Offside Mess): Kate Middleton strippergram videos were being touted all over Zurich today in a last-gasp bid to secure the tournament.

But some ugly rumors claimed FIFA officials would have preferred Beckham/Cameron/Prince William three-way shagathon footage instead.

YouBoob! channel sources later commented the steamy 15 minute home movie of England's Three Lions cavorting naked in a hotel shower 'was a damp squib'.

It was withdrawn from circulation after failing to excite a randy - er...random! - cyberaudience of 000s.

The flaccid trio had earlier been warned that failure to deliver the 2018 World Cup could see Young Wills receive a home visit by Uncle Vlad's homeopathetic healers.

According to a latest Wikileaks transcripts these Putin miracle workers hit the headlines in 2007 with a radical cure of a congenital Plutonium-210 deficiency in ex-KGB turncoat Alexander Litvinenko.

The results were of course remarkable.

Today's live draw in Switzerland will be watched by millions including excited bookies who stand to make a $$$s fortune if Spain/Portugal win the prize.

A semi-naked Nadal/Shakira promo video earlier this year may have swung the decision ahead of the opposition campaigns.

Coleen Rooney's stretchmarks are a bit of a legend.

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