London, England. The touring English cricket team, currently contesting a five test series against Australia, have sent an SOS to Gordon Brown, former PM of United Kingdom, to join the team as a replacement wicket keeper in case existing 'keeper Mat Prior breaks down with injury.
Despite the fact that Brown has never kept wickets in his entire life, the English squad agreed that Brown's massive 175 inch girth would be substantial enough to stop any balls leaking away into the field. Brown will have special pads designed for him and, if necessary, a custom-made helmet to deflect any bouncing deliveries.
In a press briefing, Mr Brown admitted he was looking forward to the challenge and, despite the fact he was pushing 60, would endeavour to give the role 100 per cent of his energies. "I'll stop those damn Aussies even if it costs me an injury or six" the former PM said.
Three other individuals were considered for the role including former Chancellor Nigel Lawson, Top Gear's The Stig and HRH Prince Edward, though he couldn't because Mummy wouldn't let him.