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Friday, 19 November 2010

image for Bronko Nagurski's Family calls NCAA "a bunch of hypocrite Nancy-Boys" for playing away from Wrigley Field Brick Wall
Safety First

(Chicago, Illinois) - On the eve of a Big Ten novelty game between Northwestern and Illinois, the family of Bronko Nagurski is criticizing the decision to point the playing field away from the right-field wall.

"A bunch of hypocrite Nancy-Boys is what I call 'em," said family spokesperson and great-grandson Bronko Nagurski IV from the Bronko Nagurski Museum in International Falls, Minnesota.

"My great-grandpappy routinely drove his head through that wall when he played the game. We believe they should just let the players play the game... maintaining the purity of the sport as it was meant to be played... instead of constantly interfering with all of their fancy 'rules-and-regulations'."

Officials decided this week to avoid playing toward the brick wall due to safety concerns. Said one: "We are all in favor of letting these kids destroy their bodies by hurtling towards each other at breakneck speeds. But we draw the line at running into brick walls."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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