Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 18 November 2010

image for Tony Parker; Stupid is as Stupid Does
Say Bye Bye to San Antonio, or anyone else playing with your balls.

What kind of guy would think about cheating on one of the most articulate and beautiful women in the world, with the wife of one of his professional basketball teammates (allegedly), and then expect there to be no risk of any ramifications. My momma always used to tell me, "Stupid is as Tony Parker does".

So, the lovely Eva Longoria is left to answer to her family and friends, sharing the embarrassment through the press, because Tony couldn't figure out that you always get caught and these things always go public. That Tiger Woods thing was so twenty minutes ago. Yesterday's news. Couldn't possibly happen to you. You're a freaking intellectual.

The woman hand monogrammed a pair of jeans with your initials on the back pocket for God sakes. On the back pocket of the best fitting pair of woman's jeans ever to grace the backside of perhaps the most beautiful woman in the world. She would wear them to your stupid NBA games, showing her commitment on camera, that her ass was yours. You were a lucky man. Key word, "were". You catching my drift, TP?

And so maybe there's one member of your team having issues with his own wife. It's a couple that you and Eva have been out on the town with because there are pictures of the four of you. Somehow this sparks an idea that a little bump and grind on the side was somehow deserved. Innocent. Private. With a woman who might be a San Antonio 8 but a New York 6, and nowhere near the class of woman sitting back home in your own living room. Nobody will find out, right Tony? How's that relationship with your Spurs teammate looking these days? Does he still feed you the ball on a pick and roll? Doubt it.

It's a good thing that Eva is a forgiving woman. What's that? She's already filed for divorce? Well, there's always that San Antonio 8 and the possibility of starting over in a new town. Best of luck, STP. Stupid Tony Parker.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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