Norfolk - (Royal Ass Mess): Next year's royal nuptials of a fake prince and a silly little minx were upstaged at Fakenham racecourse yesterday.
A 13 year-old gelding - a racewhorse minus its chestnutz - called ToCatchA-Prince romped in at 250-1 in the Aintgottaprayer.con Triumph Hurdle.
Jockey Willy Slag rode the novice to a five length win over a field of three - mostly glue factory rejects trained by local pro Capt Hemlock Frobisher.
Hours earlier desperate royal wannabe Kate Middleton had managed to drag a kicking and screaming Prince William in front of assembled press men at a Palace news conference.
And the rest as they say is hystery.
Today's portents might not be so welcome for royal wedding watchers however.
During this afternoon's 2.35 Blag-Your-Way-Out-Of-This-One Chase at Fakenham the favorite Puppet Monarch had to be put down humanely after a massive misjudgment of the final fence.
Jockey Desmond O'Blarney's royal silk colors ended up bedaubed in whorseshit as the 9 year old chestnut mare's intestines became impaled on the final flight.
A postmortem later found the roughly ridden old girl's pacemaker had simply given up.
Camilla Fucker Bowles is 69.