Interim Dallas Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett revealed today that he has lifted former head coach Wade Phillips' ban on gaining yards on offense, scoring, and winning.
"It was a really stupid policy, in retrospect," said Garrett, whose career as head coach will be over at the end of this season. "As offensive coordinator, I was embarrassed that all of the plays that I called had to result in lost yards or a turnover."
"I have to admit, I wasn't exactly sure where the endzone was," admitted incredibly dumb Cowboys receiver Roy Williams. "Thank God for Mapquest."
"Our focus now is to get the team ready for losses to Detroit and New Orleans, and secure the first overall pick in the 2011 draft," concluded Garrett. "One step at a time."