Written by Neil J

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Thursday, 11 November 2010

image for Joey Barton "I'm innocent!"
No flies on me!

Joey Barton has hit back at accusations that he is a thug and should not be allowed on a football field after allegedly "punching" Blackburn's Morten Gamst Pederson last night at St James Park.

"There was a fly on his shirt so I swatted it off with a geordie flick," said the Newcastle midfielder.

With fingers crossed behind his back he added "It was never a punch, I've never punched anyone in my life! I tried to explain to him afterwards but he was having none of it."

No one was available to comment at the club but Newcastle captain Kevin Nolan has been seen out shopping for extra bedding as it seems inevitable that Barton will be moving in alongside Andy Carroll.

He was overheard saying to his wife "We're running out of rooms - We'll have to get a bigger house at this rate!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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