Written by anthonyrosania
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Wednesday, 10 November 2010

image for Wade Phillips: Which NFL Team Can I F--k Up Now?
"Oh, you want me to diagram a play?" asked Phillips. "Ummm. How bout the big guy with the ball kicks it in for a home run."

Disgraced former University of Houston, West Orange-Stark High School, Oklahoma State University, University of Kansas, Houston Oilers, New Orleans Saints, Philadelphia Eagles, Denver Broncos, Buffalo Bills, Atlanta Falcons, San Diego Chargers and Dallas Cowboys coach Wade Phillips isn't going to let a little thing like an unrivaled string of 24-straight firings stop him from applying his King Midas in reverse magic to some other college and NFL team.


The Oxford English Dictionary lists Yank, the Army Weekly magazine (1944, 7 Jan. p. 8) as its earliest citation: "The FUBAR Squadron... FUBAR? It means 'Fucked Up Beyond Any Repair!'"

"I think that I am still a force to reckon with, as a coach," said Phillips, who is still going to be paid by the Cowboys until the end of the 2010 NFL season, as is Vikings head coach Brad Childress and Buffalo Bills team-f--ker-upper Chan Gailey, even though none of them deserve it.

"And, frankly, I don't believe I deserved to be fired from the Cowboys," Phillips continued, while making my five-dollar-foot-long sandwich at a Dallas-area Subway (which he completely screwed up).

"He's absolutely right," said NFL Draft expert Mel Kiper. "(Cowboys' owner) Jerry Jones is the real issue. He thinks he knows the game better than everyone else, that talent trumps heart, and potential trumps performance."

Phillips is currently on the short list to be heralded as the savoir of, and then summarily fired by, the Kansas City Chiefs, Detroit Lions and St. Louis Rams, for 2011.

"If those are my choices," said Phillips, while mailing his resume to the Commissioner of Ladies Lingerie Football," I think I can make the biggest (negative and detrimental) impact to the Rams. They are FUBAR."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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