GREEN BAY - Jerry Jones sat in his executive's box at Lambeau Field and during the course of the game an inside source said that he shook his head dejectedly a total of 293 times during one of the most lopsided losses in Cowboy history.
Jones, who usually eats three hot dogs during the game could not even finish one, as he reportedly had an upset stomach, a throbbing headache, and his wallet was hurting real bad as well.
Tillington F. Ambrose, a reporter for the Dallas Daily Announcer stated that it is unbelievable how the team has just collapsed. He added that the team is playing as if they are still back in pre-season.
Ambrose went on to say that the Cowboys started the season as one of the favorites to make it to the Super Bowl. But after losing to the Packers they are now at (1-7) and the only bowl they are going to is the toilet bowl.
He also noted that when the team fell to 28-7 during the second quarter he looked down at the Dallas bench and he actually saw two of the players playing poker.
He then remarked that during the fourth quarter he clearly saw three of the Cowboy starters eating some nachos and drinking them down with Gatorade.
Ambrose said that there is just no discipline on the team. After the game owner Jerry Jones was asked if he was going to fire Wade Phillips, the head coach.
Jones rolled his eyes and replied that Phillips did not fumble the ball, nor throw an interception, nor receive a penalty. He then stressed that he has decided that the team has lost its winning spirit.
He said that he has thought about it long and hard and he has decided that perhaps the best thing for him to do is to put the team up for sale on eBay.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Apparently Mr. Jones has not read the NFL Rules and Regulations very closely because on page 296, paragraph 3, lines 4 through 7 it clearly states that no owner or owners of an NFL team shall sell the team by putting it up on eBay. The team must be sold in the conventional manner and any deviation from this procedure will result in a fine of up to $200,000 and possible incarceration for blatant violation of the NFL's established statutes, directives, and mandates.]