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Wednesday, 3 November 2010

Referee Dougie McDonald is in hot water with Mums and Dads throughout Scotland after revealing in a radio interview that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

In the wake of the controversy we decided to ask top Scottish managers their opinions on what Dougie had revealed, with some startling results.

Rangers manager Walter Smith wasn't particularly surprised by McDonald's revelations. "I've suspected for some time there was no Santa but as someone who gets presents every time we play a game of football it doesn't bother me. I won't have anyone question the existence of say The Loch Ness Monster though."

Hearts boss Jim Jeffries laughed off the claims. "Nae Santa? Aye right! Next you'll be claimin Tynecastle is goin tae be knocked doon for hooses!"

Rookie St Mirren manager Danny Lennon conceded that McDonald had a point. "Tell me this, how come theres loads of Santas in shops and stuff near Christmas and theres only meant to be one? I think its just folk in suits."

Veteran Craig Brown, going great guns with Motherwell, offered this view. "Statistically there is just no way Santa Claus can circumnavigate the earth in the 24 hours offered by Chistmas Eve, so Dougie's integrity is intact with this one"

Ex-Dundee Utd legend Jim McLean shook his head when he heard the claims. "Of course there is a Santa - in fact there is an established system on Lapland where he is the number one, with all his elves on 25 year contracts to be his helpers. Any elves turning up late or found to be stealing presents will be hit by a fine, and asked to exercise the reindeer for 24 hours solid."

Dunfermline Director Of Football Jim Leishman offered a unique take on the claims.


No Santa Claus? Whatever next!

No fairies, pixies or ghosts exist?

Is Christmas dashed, is Yuletide destroyed?

Oh we cannot deny our kids their toys!

Please, please Dougie change your words

Just like in the papers, you lying turd

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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