Written by El Capitaz
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Topics: Baseball, Yankees

Friday, 29 October 2010

image for New York Yankees in negotiations to purchase every American League franchise
A plan to really level the playing field...

Hank Steinbrenner confirmed today that the New York Yankees were negotioating the purchase of every single American League Franchsise.

"After failing to win a championship this year-or even the American League pennant-we have concluded that our stategy of buying up the contracts of all the best free agent players is not working." Reported the heir to the Yankee Empire. "So we are taking the next logical step. We intend to buy every single American League team, and thus ensure a trip to the world series for our fans every year, as they deserve."

It wasn't immediately clear if that meant that the Yankees would ask the other teams to step aside, or if the other teams would be allowed to go to the world series, with the understanding that they represented the Yankee franchise.

"Well there are a few details to work out" admitted Brian Cashman, team General Manager. "We could set up a playoff for second place, that might be exiting. Or if another team defeates us, we could just swap rosters for the World Series. I'm not sure yet what Hank has in mind."

Reports indiate that there may be some resistance to the plan among owners of the other teams. John Henry, principal owner of the Boston Red Sox issued a statement which simply read "Kiss my ass." Nolan Ryan of the Texas Rangers is said to be distraught over the proposal reportedly muttering "Can't they just let me finish this World Series in peace?"

Yankee insiders claim that if the plan succeeds, and the Yankees are able to complete the purchase of all American League teams, yet still fail to win the World Series, the next logical step would be buying all the National League teams as well. "Hank has mentioned it. We hope it won't come to that though" said one.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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