Written by SpaceElevator
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Thursday, 28 October 2010

image for Oregon is not that fast; Everyone else is just fat, slow & lazy
hut -- hut -- Did someone say Pizza Hut?

The blinding speed of the University of Oregon's top-ranked football team will again be on display this weekend when they play Southern California.

The conventional wisdom is that the key to Oregon's success is a fast offense. So fast, in fact, that players often get confused and attempt plays that are yet to happen.

The truth is that Oregon's offense is not that fast -- the other teams are simply terribly overweight, out-of-shape and lethargic.

"It's not rocket science," said Oregon Coach Chip Kelly. "If your men are spending too much time at the all-you-care-to-eat buffet and not enough time on the practice field, then we will run circles around you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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