Written by SpaceElevator
Print this

Thursday, 28 October 2010

image for Oregon is not that fast; Everyone else is just fat, slow & lazy
hut -- hut -- Did someone say Pizza Hut?

The blinding speed of the University of Oregon's top-ranked football team will again be on display this weekend when they play Southern California.

The conventional wisdom is that the key to Oregon's success is a fast offense. So fast, in fact, that players often get confused and attempt plays that are yet to happen.

The truth is that Oregon's offense is not that fast -- the other teams are simply terribly overweight, out-of-shape and lethargic.

"It's not rocket science," said Oregon Coach Chip Kelly. "If your men are spending too much time at the all-you-care-to-eat buffet and not enough time on the practice field, then we will run circles around you."

Make SpaceElevator's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 4 plus 2?

7 6 11 5
129 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more