During the World Cup in South Africa, Paul, a German octopus tipped several games correctly and became a world wide sensation with both fans and Asian illegal bookmakers?
Sadly, Paul has died, AAAGH, but there are suspicious circumstances surrounding his death.
His tentacles were tied in knots, his eyes were blindfolded and he was gagged?
The owners of Paul, Herr und Frau Octopussy-Schmitz, are devastated about the strange death and claimed that Paul could have at least lived 50 more years if he hadn't let himself be bought by several slit-eyed strangers from Asia (?) who frequented his aquarium and fed him caviar and champagne on a regular basis, very fishy?
It seems that Paul was working undercover for a Chinese betting syndicate, bungled a few of his tips, refused to give the slit-eyes their caviar back and faced the consequences of "octopussying" around with the Chinese Mafia!
The funeral is to be attended by several top footie stars who made a couple of thousand bucks on the side thanks to Paul.
Wayne R****y, Lionel M***I and Christian R*****o amongst others are all to attend which, might just explain their dismal performances in South Africa, they were too busy having a quick "flutter" on their opponents winning the qames????