Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Gary Neville To Leave United
Neville Neville, Gary's Father is said to be unamused

Gary Neville will be leaving Manchester United when his current contract expires.

Despite protestations that United is the only club for the more moustachioed (but only just) of the Neville brothers, from next season, Gary will be looking for a new club.

Media speculation was this was originally down to Neville getting on the books of the same agent that has recently negotiated Wayne Rooney a million pound a month deal to keep the striker at United.

"At first glance, it looks like Neville also tried to hold the club to ransom," said Gavin Fish, spokesman for United Forever, a supporters association for the club. "And, United are showing that they won't be bullied again."

If United were to capitulate twice, it may open the floodgates for the entire team to put in massive wage demands to keep them at Old Trafford.

However, it transpires that Neville had not made massive wage demands in order to renew a contract. Inside information being leaked from the club suggests that Neville is, and always would be, the cheapest player at United, as the bosses recognise his unswerving loyalty and currently pay him less than the youth team reserves' back-up goalkeeper, who is sixteen.

"What we've found out," said Fish, "Is that United have finally realised what the rest of the world has always known; that he's absolute toss, and have not offered a new contract."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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