Written by anthonyrosania
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Tuesday, 26 October 2010

image for Andy Reid Confirms, Under his Breath, That Michael Vick is Next Week's Starting QB

During head coach Andy Reid's weekly "Here's why we lost" press conference, the coach was asked who will be the Philadelphia Eagles' starting quarterback next week, Bobby Hoying clone Kevin Kolb, or PETA (wanted) poster boy Michael Vick.

Michael Vick...

... and three other men were charged by federal authorities with felony charges of operating an unlawful interstate dog fighting venture known as "Bad Newz Kennels", in 2007. Vick was accused of financing the operation, directly participating in dog fights and executions, and personally handling thousands of dollars in related gambling activities. On August 24, Vick pleaded guilty to "Conspiracy to Travel in Interstate Commerce in Aid of Unlawful Activities and to Sponsor a Dog in an Animal Fighting Venture", and served 18 months in prison.

Just don't want anyone to forget that.

"Mmmmm fmmmm." whispered Reid, between sips of his 15th Venti Starbucks Mint Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino blended creme with Chocolate Whipped Cream of the day.

"Could you... could you repeat that," said WIP's Howard Eskin.

"Mmmmmm vvmmmmm." he responded.

"What the f--k, Reid, who is it?"

"Michael Vick, OK? Michael will be starting," said Reid. "Michael Vick is expected to start when we lose to the Indianapolis Colts on Nov. 7th."

"So, just so I am clear," continued Eskin, who is a d--k. "Vick started the season as the Eagles' No. 2 quarterback behind Kevin Kolb, who became the starter after Donovan McNabb was traded to the Washington Redskins. Then Vick became a starter after Kolb left after 4 seconds of game 1, with a concussion. Then Vick passed for 459 yards and three touchdowns and rushed for 140 yards in a game and a half. Then you named him the team's permanent starter before Game 3, the day after Reid announced that Kolb would start that game."

"Then, Vick had his chestplate removed during Game 4, when Kolb came in, threw for 1,011 yards and six touchdowns in two games, which you've rewarded by announcing Vick as the starter in the next game."

"Well, at least I've been consistent," finished Reid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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