So, Wayne Rooney has signed a five year contract at Manchester United, apologised to the manager and his team mates for being a prick, and is expected within the next few hours to issue a grovelling apology to United fans.
So that's all right then.
All is forgiven.
No it isn't. At least not according to Jarbo the Killer, a member of Salford based United supporting goodwill group, the Men In Black.
A clearly agitated Jarbo, speaking from a pub in Cheetham Hill, where he was doing 'a bit of this and a bit of that. You know the script lads,' told Skoob Sports News:
"Far as I'm concerned, he's blown it. He'll never have any credibility in my eyes. If the spud headed Scouse cock end would rather listen to his wife, his mother in law, Carlos bastard Tevez, and even worse - Stretford, his 'show me the money' agent, then he deserves all he gets. We were reluctant to accept a Scouser in the first place, but we did. Then the snide shit house kicks the manager, the club and the fans in the bollocks. I don't care how fucking good he is, he doesn't belong here. As far as I'm concerned, the big lugged Scouse git can do one. And good bleedin' riddance. Always look on the bright side of life."
More as we get it.