Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 22 October 2010

image for Rooney replacement, Gazza, gets "nicked" for possessing drugs!
At least Gazza once wore the shirt with pride, Rooney doesn't know what the word means!

Sir Alex was hoping to shock the world by firstly flogging R****y (who?) and then asking Gazza to come out of retirement as his replacement!!

Initially Sir Alex begged Mon dieu, Messr. Cantona to come back to Utd, lose some weight, train hard and lead Utd once again to glory.

Unfortunately Eric was otherwise engaged and thought he was still too young to retire anyway (just like his thousands of fans)?

In his quest for a father figure, ex-superstar and enfant terrible, Sir Alex contacted Gazza, offered him a contract till the end of the season and was pretty confident Gazza could save Utd from their "Untergang" after the Rooneygate affair.

Typical Gazza, offered a lifeline to prove to the world that he was surely one of the greats and not just a whinging, sobbing piss artist, he "ballsed it"!

He got nicked for drinking and driving and now he's in court for possession of drugs!

Man Utd fans dream on, but you've still got Owen and Owen Hargreaves (who?) to save the sinking ship!

As for Gazza, he certainly will not take his place amongst the true greats of the game, he is after all a Geordie and they have a similair blood-line to their Scouser cousins, good while they're sober, but don't let them smell a bevvie or dirty pussy, it's deadly for them!

BREAKING NEWS: Rooney signs new contract for Utd, he felt sorry for Gazza, it broke his heart, acknowledged his childish behaviour and accepted £190K a week, poor old Roon, he has a heart after all!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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