Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 18 October 2010

image for The Dallas Cowboys Lose To The Minnesota Vikings and Drop To (1-4) - Owner Jerry Jones Says "I've Run Out Of Non-Football Folks To Blame"
NFL Balls & Things Inc. has stated that the sale price of Dallas Cowboy footballs has been reduced by 50%.

BLOOMINGTON, Minnesota - The Dallas Cowboys, who feel that they are still Super Bowl bound, lost their fourth game of the season at the hands of the Minnesota Vikings, who were led by their 58-year-old ailing quarterback Brett "The Relic" Favre.

The amazing Favre led his band of Vikings to a 24-21 victory over the Cowboys.

Many of the Minnesota players felt that newly acquired wide receiver Randy Moss's half time inspirational speech and break dance had a lot to do with pepping up the Vikings team, who like the Cowboys entered the game at 1-3.

Vikings' tight end Visanthe Shiancoe said that when he looked up from his locker and saw Randy in the middle of the locker room break dancing like some hip hop rap artist it inspired him to want to go out and do some break dancing type moves on his pass patterns.

And wide receiver Bernard Berrian noted that it literally brought tears to his eyes when Moss took out his harmonica and started playing the old Nitty Gritty Dirt Band tune "Mr. Bojangles."

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was asked if there were any non-football individuals whom he wanted to blame for his team's loss.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: In the past Jerry "The Excuse Monger" Jones has blamed his team's losses on non-football people such as Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, and even his own wife Mrs. Jerry Jones.]

Jones shook his head and said that he is puzzled beyond belief as to why his team is sitting on a lowly 1-4 record. He grinned and said that he is definitely out of non-football folks to blame.

When asked if maybe the fact that his team committed 47 penalties for 919 yards may have had something to do with the loss he just shrugged his shoulders and said maybe.

A sports reporter for National Geographic asked him if perhaps the fact that the Cowboys currently lead the NFL in 'showboating' may also be a contributing factor to their lack of winning.

Jones asked in what way. The reporter pointed out that when the Cowboys' Roy Williams scored a touchdown, Miles Austin celebrated by leap frogging over Williams, making him look silly as heck.

The Cowboys' owner said that he had to agree and that he would be calling up Miles on Monday and telling him to save his childish antics such as leap frog; red rover red rover; and 1,2,3, red light for the privacy of his damn apartment.

SIDENOTE: A group of three reporters from Texas asked Jones if he wanted to try and blame anyone else for their loss. He paused and thought for a moment and then noted that he wanted to officially blame the Cowboy loss to Minnesota on Hurricane Katrina.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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