Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 15 October 2010

image for Nigerian Athlete Passes Drugs Test
Nigerian athletes running to their coach to score some more drugs

There was more controversy at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi earlier today when a Nigerian athlete was given the all-clear after a drugs test.

This came after earlier news that Nigeria's 400m relay runner Folashade Abugan had failed a drugs test. Prior to that, her team-mates Damola Osayemi, who had won the women's 100m, and 110m hurdler Samuel Okon also failed tests.

Abugan, who tested positive for testosterone prohormone, waived the right to have her B sample analysed, proving that she was guilty.

This afternoon's drug debacle, however, when an as yet unnamed Nigerian runner tested negative for any illegal substance, has rocked the Games set-up to its very foundations, and shattered preconceptions about Nigerian athletes' inability to compete without first pumping themselves up with some performance-enhancing stimulant or other.

A statement from the Games' Federation said:

"This latest result has completely shaken our faith in the belief that all Nigerians are cheats."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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