With the shocking Spoof News earlier today that Michelle was considering bolting to Hollywood and a new career as the next Black Exploitation Chic to replace an aging Pam Grier, Pundits were left wondering what would be left for Barry!
They didn't have to wait long, as White House Press Secretary Robert Glibb(sic), hastened to explain the President's long rang plans post Michelle, and Post the Presidency.
"The President is mulling over a new career," the talking walrus droned," times change, priorities shift, the President feels he has accomplished his mission for the country and is ready to move on to more exciting and fast moving challenges."
With that block buster news, Glibb then unveiled a power point presentation
showing Barrack "Crash" Obama in a Nomax Fire suit, Italian leather driving shoes, holding his helmet as he prepared to crawl through the window of his new ride, a high tech Government Motors (GM) Volt tweaked to 672 horsepower with the number "44" boldly emblazoned on the hood, roof, doors, and trunk with additional UAW, Teamster, SEIU and Teacher Union Sponsorship proudly displayed.
Glibb explained that Obama's 4 years at the White House was" just a tune up for his entrance into NASCAR racing. The President told me, "Bobby, it's time to shake up the good old boys at NASCAR, they said a black man couldn't become President, and I did it. They said a black man couldn't win on the track at Daytona...I'm gonna do it, dad gum it!"
Insiders say Obama has been practicing for this moment for the past 20 months, and will continue running left hand laps in the White House for the next two years.
"Let me tell you son, that boy is gonna plain run circles around those white crackers, " said Pork Barrel King Congressman Clyburn (D) of SC, " I be watchin' him closely....that boy has been running around in circles in the White House and Congress at about 200 MPH since January 2009...no body can touch him in a LEFT HAND turn...he be smokin...don't know what he be smokin', but he's a natural for NASCAR!"
Glibb said experiments continue on the Volt race car, tentatively called
"Black Magic" by the President's close advisor, campanion and Pit Boss, Valerie Jarett.
"We've got a few more tricks up our sleeve,'said a grease stained Jarrett",we're giving Peru another earmark to mine some real high energy lithium for some new racing batteries that shoud bring the horse power up to about 720 and the torque curve near 600...that goin' be one big, black, smoking sumbitch by the time we put the taxpayer money behind it....it be a bad M***F***r is what I'm sayin'...nobody goin touch that boy Barack on the track....!"
Glibb said the Obama MotorSport team is still looking for a few more sponsors, and is hoping to sign a Beer Distributor soon. "It's real important to Barry that we have an American Beer Sponsor....but he wants to make sure it's a real, real Lite Beer in keeping with his image!"