Written by Monkey Woods

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Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for Susan Boyle In For Liverpool?
And you'll never walk, alone...you'll ne -eee-ee-ver walk, a-lone

Liverpool Football Club, the once-mighty conquerors of Europe, the team that swept all before it during the late 1970s, and all through the 1980s, the magnificent organisation that gave us Bill Shankly, Bob Paisley, Kenny Dalglish, Kevin Keegan and Emlyn 'Crazy Horse' Hughes, Anfield, the Kop, You'll Never Walk Alone, and the team that are worshipped by fans from all over the world, are to be sold at rock bottom price next week, and could even 'go for a song', which could be 'Ferry Across The Mersey'.

Susan Boyle has said she is interested.

The Super Reds, deep in financial difficulties to the tune of £284million, celebrated the decision at the High Court of Mr Justice Floyd, who ruled that American owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett did not have the right to stop the sale of the club to New England Sporting Ventures (NESV) - a strange moniker, if you don't mind me saying.

Club chairman Martin Broughton was elated at the news, and told reporters who were glad that they hadn't been sent to cover the Chilean Miners rescue:

"We have massive debts at this club, and are playing shit into the bargain. We feel the acquisition of Liverpool FC certainly will be a bargain, especially as the price could be as low as one song. Susan Boyle has been in touch, and we see no reason whatsoever why the ugly Scottish singing sensation with a face like a welder's bench shouldn't take control of things at Anfield. It'd be a change from those couple of American tossers, anyway!"

Holly Johnson has also expressed an interest.

Susan Boyle is not interested

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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