Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Hockey, nhl

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for James Wisniewski Shows Steve Avery How To Brush Rear Molars, Gets Suspended.
ABOVE: In England, hockey is called 'ice rugby'.

The four people who still follow ice hockey are up in arms over the NHL's decision to suspend Islanders defenseman James Wisniewski, after Wisniewski took time out of his busy day to show Rangers douchebag Sean Avery the proper way to brush the rear molars, during the first period of the New York Islanders' 6-4 win over the Rangers on Monday.

It's not funny...

...unless you Google the video. Actually, it's not funny ever after you see the video.

"Modern medical research has shown that brushing teeth properly can prevent cavities, and periodontal disease," said Wisniewski. "If teeth are not brushed correctly and frequently, it could lead to the calcification of saliva minerals, forming tartar."

Avery was just as surprised. And since he was the player who was suspended in 2008 for calling ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert his 'sloppy seconds' when she began dating another hockey player, you know he's a class act.

" I guess it kinda looked like he was telling me I suck d--k," said Avery, who is an out-of-the-closet douchebag. "But we were just discussing how many hockey players are missing teeth, and how important good oral hygiene is."

The NHL also weighed in.

"The NHL is committed to ensuring that we remain a family-friendly entertainment venue," said the NHL Commissioner, whose name I don't know, but is probably Canadian, and therefore a douchey little a--hole. "When a mom and dad bring little David, and young Becky to an NHL game, they expect to see two all white teams of trained athletes beating the sh-t out of each other. It's as wholesome as apple pie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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