The truth behind the England team's disappointing summer World Cup capitulation can be revealed today as reports circulate that Wayne Rooney has been knobbing ex-captain John Terry's mum for months.
The alleged affair was going on even before Terry was stripped of the England armband for himself dabbling in "a bit of strange".
This caused a massive internal rift between the players resulting in an acute loss of form, I can exclusively reveal. "There are some unwritten rules in football, and one of them is that you don't put your knob inside the captain's mum," said Gareth Barry.
Others in the England squad were however supportive of Rooney, saying that it was unfair that players family and friends should be considered off limits. "It's been going on for years, why shouldn't we poke anyone we want?" said Ashley Cole.