Written by Virgil T Stone
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Topics: Cars, Danica Patrick

Wednesday, 1 June 2005

Indianapolis Indiana The first three cars have been disqualified from the Indy 500. The new winner is Danica Patrick. An anonymous source says that after the mandatory impounding of the cars after the race two of the first three were found to be illegal. This source says that one was found under-weight when asked the owners said. "Well Robby was right she had a weight advantage so we mad up for it. Honestly I want to protest it." The source also says the second car was impounded due to the engine being wrong size.

The source also revealed the reason for the final disqualification was, it was Robby Gordon in disguise. It has been revealed that he has a twin brother who was driving his NASCAR entry in Charlotte. This reporter has tried to catch up to her Danica to get her reaction but she is AWOL. Another source has said she is in Detroit to see the Pistons play, seems she has revealed to this source that she is a closet Detroit fan.

In trying to get a reaction from team Owners Bobby Rahal and David Letterman this reporter has found no answer to his messages that he left on Letterman's answering machine. Rahal on the other hand was seen last boarding a flight to Detroit.

Elsewhere in the world of racing

Dale Earnhardt Jr. was last seen also boarding a flight for Detroit. When asked why a source said. "Cause that is the last place Uncle Tony would ever look for me." After hearing what Tony Eury had to say Sunday night who can blame him.

Tony Stewart was found before the race in his racecar doing something to the dash. When asked what, it was revealed that he had placed a mini television there. It was later revealed that he wanted to see the outcome of the Indy race. Seems he was satisfied, as a source has said. "He is quite smitten by the young woman." Tony Stewart by the way was also with Dale Earnhardt Junior. I will try and get all the fact s when I get to Detroit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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